So now I can feel good exercising my body, whilst I rot my brain with some Jeremy Kyle.

Television. It is arguably capitalism’s greatest weapon. Oscar Wilde once famously said that ‘working was the curse of the drinking class’. And as much as I have to agree with that, I can’t help feel that television is the curse of the working class. And the middle class for that matter. Sack that, it's the curse of the modern world. You may disagree with me, but we spend more time in front of the television than anywhere else apart from the computer on the internet. Which, you guessed it, is increasingly used for watching television programmes. This however, is the future of television. Informed, selective viewing is the way forward to avoid sitting in front of the television for no reason at all; for the sake of it.

Television Rules The Nation

Television contains so much irrelevant tripe it’s almost laughable. Celebrityism (it’s in the urban dictionary, which is good enough for me), reality television, insane amounts of advertising and the general feeling that your mind is going numb with every mention of cheaper car insurance and your eyes feel like they’re burning out a little more every time Katie Price’s face appears are all things we don’t need in our lives.

Recently my local gym was refitted; yes, you guessed it, with brand new machines (bikes, treadmills) with televisions on them. So now I can feel good exercising my body, whilst I rot my brain with some Jeremy Kyle. How ironic. AND it’s insulting. Do the machine designers seriously think that to motivate me to go to the gym and use the machines, they need to fit it with a television? Seriously?!

It is also another way in which the mass media can bring to you its selective journalism. Sky News, a key lieutenant in Rupert Murdoch’s media army, can bring you it’s pure, undiluted and completely biased opinion on the so- called ‘world news’. World news, according to Sky, is British politics, the odd movie premier, America, occasionally the Afghan conflict and sport. Human rights violations in Africa? Forget it. Civil unrest in Thailand? If you’re lucky. If Sky News continues to be so selective, biased and shameless about it, why don’t they just call it The Sun News? Or Daily Mirror TV? 

Even as audiences begin switching to the computer to watch television, we’ll still be a nation hooked on the screen. Zoning out in- front of the telly/ computer is the easy thing to do when ‘there’s nothing to do’. Plug in, turn on and cop out. Sit down, tune in and switch off. The revolution will not be televised.

The Science of Sleep

The science behind television and the brain is quite simple. Scarily simple.  It's almost genius. All this time you have your eyes on the screen you’re brain enters something called ‘Alpha Frequencies’, which is a trance state. This is caused by the ‘flickering’ nature of the screen. This is a natural state, which occurs in everyday life, just before we wake in the morning and just before we fall asleep.

As you may or may not know, the TV screen isn’t a steady, static image. It’s flickering constantly, far too fast for the human eye to pick up the individual flickers, so the brain just blurs them all into one. However, just because what we see is a still image, doesn’t mean to say it is having the same effect on the brain. It’s not. The subconscious part of the brain is lulled into a trance by this constant flickering. This is significant because the subconscious part of the brain cannot distinguish between what is real, and what is not. For example, every time someone tells themselves, ‘I hate spiders,’ the subconscious part of the mind takes this as truth and reaffirms this. This is important because the subconscious is far more powerful than the conscious, and this is why it is so dangerous that people let their guard down all time. The term ‘brainwashing’ is not an exaggeration.

Want to know how hypnosis works? The mind is relaxed into a trance state, and then told things that the subconscious mind will take as truth. See any similarities? We’ve all seen the comedy sketches where a hypnotist says, ‘When you wake, you won’t remember you’re name’. The person awakes, and voila! This is because this information was fed directly to the subconscious, with no ‘rational’ conscious part of the brain to stand in its way, and say,’ that’s ridiculous! Of course I’ll remember my name!’ Ever tried talking to someone who is watching television and they can’t hear you? It’s because they are in a trance like state, and depending on the individual depends on how susceptible we are to this. Scary or what? Especially considering we are bombarded with adverts in this vulnerable state. Advertising isn’t just luck. It’s designed to get in your head without you realising it. Forget subliminal advertising, it’s a paradox. Advertising is subliminal.

Throw Away Your Television

The fact that we constantly need an external stimulus in our lives is down to the fact that we’ve become so comfortable in our domestic environments. 100 years ago, there was no dishwasher to do the dishes, clothes had to be washed more or less by hand, no microwave. We simply have much more time on our hands with ‘nothing to do’. So what do we do? Play a computer game, watch television, kill time, die. We no longer have to hunt for food, find shelter, or find a mate, not in the traditional sense anyway! The humans in ‘Wall-e’ who are glued to a screen which is in front of there face 100% of the time and don’t have to move because there hovering chair transports them everywhere is a very real prediction of the future.

Of course, I admit that I occasionally find myself in front of the small screen. There are some great documentaries, panel shows and films I like to watch. As I said before, informed and selective viewing is the only way to go. Mute the adverts, boycott ITV and Sky News, and you will be a happier person. Throw away your television, and you will be enlightened.




The Revolution Will Not Be Televised By Gil Scott Heron

You will not be able to stay home, brother.

You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.

You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,

Skip out for beer during commercials,

Because the revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox

In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.

The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon

blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John

Mitchell, General Abrams and Spiro Agnew to eat

hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.

The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be brought to you by the 

Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie

Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia.

The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal.

The revolution will not get rid of the nubs.

The revolution will not make you look five pounds

thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Brother.

There will be no pictures of you and Willie May

pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,

or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.

NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32

or report from 29 districts.

The revolution will not be televised.