So now I can feel good exercising my body, whilst I rot my brain with some Jeremy Kyle.

Television. It is arguably capitalism’s greatest weapon. Oscar Wilde once famously said that ‘working was the curse of the drinking class’. And as much as I have to agree with that, I can’t help feel that television is the curse of the working class. And the middle class for that matter. Sack that, it's the curse of the modern world. You may disagree with me, but we spend more time in front of the television than anywhere else apart from the computer on the internet. Which, you guessed it, is increasingly used for watching television programmes. This however, is the future of television. Informed, selective viewing is the way forward to avoid sitting in front of the television for no reason at all; for the sake of it.

Television Rules The Nation

Television contains so much irrelevant tripe it’s almost laughable. Celebrityism (it’s in the urban dictionary, which is good enough for me), reality television, insane amounts of advertising and the general feeling that your mind is going numb with every mention of cheaper car insurance and your eyes feel like they’re burning out a little more every time Katie Price’s face appears are all things we don’t need in our lives.

Recently my local gym was refitted; yes, you guessed it, with brand new machines (bikes, treadmills) with televisions on them. So now I can feel good exercising my body, whilst I rot my brain with some Jeremy Kyle. How ironic. AND it’s insulting. Do the machine designers seriously think that to motivate me to go to the gym and use the machines, they need to fit it with a television? Seriously?!

It is also another way in which the mass media can bring to you its selective journalism. Sky News, a key lieutenant in Rupert Murdoch’s media army, can bring you it’s pure, undiluted and completely biased opinion on the so- called ‘world news’. World news, according to Sky, is British politics, the odd movie premier, America, occasionally the Afghan conflict and sport. Human rights violations in Africa? Forget it. Civil unrest in Thailand? If you’re lucky. If Sky News continues to be so selective, biased and shameless about it, why don’t they just call it The Sun News? Or Daily Mirror TV? 

Even as audiences begin switching to the computer to watch television, we’ll still be a nation hooked on the screen. Zoning out in- front of the telly/ computer is the easy thing to do when ‘there’s nothing to do’. Plug in, turn on and cop out. Sit down, tune in and switch off. The revolution will not be televised.

The Science of Sleep

The science behind television and the brain is quite simple. Scarily simple.  It's almost genius. All this time you have your eyes on the screen you’re brain enters something called ‘Alpha Frequencies’, which is a trance state. This is caused by the ‘flickering’ nature of the screen. This is a natural state, which occurs in everyday life, just before we wake in the morning and just before we fall asleep.

As you may or may not know, the TV screen isn’t a steady, static image. It’s flickering constantly, far too fast for the human eye to pick up the individual flickers, so the brain just blurs them all into one. However, just because what we see is a still image, doesn’t mean to say it is having the same effect on the brain. It’s not. The subconscious part of the brain is lulled into a trance by this constant flickering. This is significant because the subconscious part of the brain cannot distinguish between what is real, and what is not. For example, every time someone tells themselves, ‘I hate spiders,’ the subconscious part of the mind takes this as truth and reaffirms this. This is important because the subconscious is far more powerful than the conscious, and this is why it is so dangerous that people let their guard down all time. The term ‘brainwashing’ is not an exaggeration.

Want to know how hypnosis works? The mind is relaxed into a trance state, and then told things that the subconscious mind will take as truth. See any similarities? We’ve all seen the comedy sketches where a hypnotist says, ‘When you wake, you won’t remember you’re name’. The person awakes, and voila! This is because this information was fed directly to the subconscious, with no ‘rational’ conscious part of the brain to stand in its way, and say,’ that’s ridiculous! Of course I’ll remember my name!’ Ever tried talking to someone who is watching television and they can’t hear you? It’s because they are in a trance like state, and depending on the individual depends on how susceptible we are to this. Scary or what? Especially considering we are bombarded with adverts in this vulnerable state. Advertising isn’t just luck. It’s designed to get in your head without you realising it. Forget subliminal advertising, it’s a paradox. Advertising is subliminal.

Throw Away Your Television

The fact that we constantly need an external stimulus in our lives is down to the fact that we’ve become so comfortable in our domestic environments. 100 years ago, there was no dishwasher to do the dishes, clothes had to be washed more or less by hand, no microwave. We simply have much more time on our hands with ‘nothing to do’. So what do we do? Play a computer game, watch television, kill time, die. We no longer have to hunt for food, find shelter, or find a mate, not in the traditional sense anyway! The humans in ‘Wall-e’ who are glued to a screen which is in front of there face 100% of the time and don’t have to move because there hovering chair transports them everywhere is a very real prediction of the future.

Of course, I admit that I occasionally find myself in front of the small screen. There are some great documentaries, panel shows and films I like to watch. As I said before, informed and selective viewing is the only way to go. Mute the adverts, boycott ITV and Sky News, and you will be a happier person. Throw away your television, and you will be enlightened.




The Revolution Will Not Be Televised By Gil Scott Heron

You will not be able to stay home, brother.

You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.

You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,

Skip out for beer during commercials,

Because the revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox

In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.

The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon

blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John

Mitchell, General Abrams and Spiro Agnew to eat

hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.

The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be brought to you by the 

Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie

Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia.

The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal.

The revolution will not get rid of the nubs.

The revolution will not make you look five pounds

thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Brother.

There will be no pictures of you and Willie May

pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,

or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.

NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32

or report from 29 districts.

The revolution will not be televised.

Money Can’t Buy Happiness, But It Can Buy You The Kind of Misery You Prefer.

Before you get on your really high horse and start calling me shallow, I’ve had a good hard think about this one. And by a good hard think, I mean roughly the last four of five years, and probably more than Joe Bloggs has ever thought about it. And as I’m currently reading the novel ‘Keep The Aspidistra Flying’ (George Orwell) about a man whose distaste and contempt for all things money related and whose life goes into freefall after shunning the consumerist lifestyle, now seems a better time than ever to really face up to the facts about the stuff that really does make the world go round.

Money, It’s a Hit

I’m anything but a capitalist (apart from a commie obviously), so I feel this alone qualifies me to view this with some perspective. As a poor student, I am far from wrapped up in a world where all I want to do is spend and acquire money purely for the sake of it. And, as I’m sure thousands of other students out there will agree with me, I have also learnt to appreciate money for what it is; a means to an end.

Money Can’t Buy You Happiness…

You might argue that saying that money is ‘a means to an end’ is a cop out; that it’s an obvious and easy thing to say. But how many people do you know who really appreciate money for what it is? By this, I mean how many people do you know who blow there money on things they don’t even need?

A friend brought an amazing quote (from ‘Fight Club’, a brilliant film) to my attention the other day which sums up perfectly what I’m trying to say; ‘an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.’ The key part in this phrase is the last part, ‘working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need’. A faster car, a bigger televsion, a better phone, copious amounts of new clothes, a more sophisticated computer, a louder stereo; all rubbish that burns holes in our pockets. For what? Happiness? Social status? Self- fulfillment?

We as a society are brought up on hyper- consumerism, with companies rubbing there pudgy hands together everytime Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mothers Day and whatever else rolls around. All so they can make more money. So they can spend in on a faster car, a bigger television, a better phone… You get the picture.

… But You Can’t Be Happy Without Money.

Whilst that may be one end of the spectrum, the other extreme would be to have no money, which of course results in complete poverty. Nowhere to live, no money for food, no money to go out and socialise, no money to for a big television, a good phone or a loud stereo.

No, but seriously, it really is as simple as that. Not much further explanation is required. Having no money, or very little money only for basic things such as a roof over your head and food restricts you in every way and results in pure, unrelenting misery. In the novel I mentioned earlier (‘Keep the Aspidistra Flying’) the main character (a poet) has a complete case of writers’ block through lack of stimulation and isolation. I’m sure this is reflective of many people in society, and this is why it always frustrates me when I hear people hypocritically preaching ‘money cant buy you happiness’ as they burn down the motorway in their BMW bellowing down their iPhone. Money is survival, money is existence, money is freedom; in that order. Nothing more. Once you can survive, you can exist, once you exist you can be free; free from petty everyday money worries.

Capitalism has taught us to worship money; to love it and to be a slave to it. Money funds wars, stops drugs helping the sickest people in the world, money is the objectification of evil, and brings out the worst in human beings; greed. But without money there couldn’t have been prosperity, and without prosperity we wouldn’t live the way we do today, in our houses with central heating, marble kitchens and jacuzzi bathrooms. But the thought of hunting my own food, building my own house in return for my freedom sounds rather appealing to me. How about you?

'The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.'

Money by Pink Floyd

Money, get away

Get a good job with more pay
And your O.K.
Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands
And make a stash

New car, caviar, four star daydream
Think I'll buy me a football team

Money get back
I'm all right Jack
Keep your hands off my stack
Money, it's a hit
Don't give me that
Do goody good bullshit

I'm in the hi-fidelity
First class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet

Money, it's a crime
Share it fairly
But don't take a slice of my pie

Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil
Today

But if you ask for a rise
It's no surprise that they're
Giving none away